Monday Morning Playlist — #2
Monday Morning Playlist — #2
The Zoomies
Playlist
The Zoomies
If you have a dog, then you may be familiar with “the zoomies.”
It may apply to children too, but I don’t have any of those.
The zoomies are the time, or times, of the day when your dog takes it upon themselves to go bonkers. They may run around the house or yard, provoke another animal to play, provoke you to play. Some of them even do what I call the “low rider.” That’s where their butt drops as they run — it’s hysterical.
My dog, Rufus (above), is about 9 or 10 now (he was adopted, so it’s a ballpark), so he only gets the zoomies now and again. When he was younger, it was at least twice a day. When I had a staircase, I used to make him (inasmuch as anyone makes Rufus do anything — he’s rather spoiled) run up and down the stairs to tire him out.
If a friend pops around these days, he’ll rip around the apartment for about a minute before settling down.
ANYWAY, “the zoomies” refer to an amount of energy bubbling up in you and bursting out. It is the transition from potential energy to kinetic energy. It is the energy you feel watching any movie from The Fast and Furious franchise. It’s that feeling inside you that you have when you kiss someone you like, busting free.
The zoomies are like porn.
At least as former US Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart defined porn:
“I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description [“hard-core pornography”], and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it, and the motion picture involved in this case is not that.”
Suffice it to say, you know the zoomies when you see them.
The more you age, the more you realize that all that is old becomes new again. I’ve noticed this recently as the word “rad” has found a kind of resurgence. I will forever associate “rad” with my BMX days.
Nonetheless, I have put together some songs that I think are pretty “rad” and may just give you “the zoomies.”
Some Highlights:
“Hell on Wheels” — Betty Blowtorch
There is a pretty good doc out there called Betty Blowtorch and Her Amazing True Life Adventures. They’re a bit punchy, work a bit blue, but they are all rock and roll. I like to say that if Guns-n-Roses had a female parallel, it would be Betty Blowtorch (Duff McKagan even pops up in the doc.)
“Du Hast” — Rammstein
Look, they’re German. They’re theatrical, big, intimidating, a bit weird, and all fucking rock. According to the internet, this song translates to some kind of questioning of relationship fidelity/monogamy. Who knows? Who cares? The song kills!
“Mission of Mercy” — The Motels
Now mostly remembered for the sappy “Suddenly Last Summer,” this song introduced them to a national audience. It’s pretty kick-ass or even, rad.
“Half Moon” — Janis Joplin
The posthumously released Pearl is an album that is light years beyond anything Janis Joplin had done previously. It still sounds fresh. Joplin may forever be remembered for two things — dying much too early and for her version of “Me and Bobby McGee.” That said, one listen to this song, and you will soon realize what a fuckin travesty it was to lose her so young.
“Tush” — ZZ Top
Perhaps the ONLY song in the ZZ Top oeuvre that can cross gender lines. Because who doesn’t like a good ass? The best thing about ZZ Top (and, like it or not, there are many things) is that they have never pretended to be anything they weren’t — a great rock and roll band.
“Ghost of a Texas Ladies Man” — Concrete Blonde
Concrete Blonde is still a band that I don’t believe gets the credit it deserves. Who else could incorporate “ectoplasmic” into a rock song?
“Paradise City” — Guns-n-Roses
Take your pick off that album. This was mine. Remember when there was some danger to huge rock bands? Imagine Dragons doesn’t sound nearly as intimidating as Guns-n-Roses. Just sayin.
“Bastards of Young” — The Replacements
Seriously? We’ve gone over this repeatedly. You can’t possibly be surprised.
“Destroyer” — The Kinks
I think everyone knows The Kinks, but they often seem to get overlooked. Sure, there is “Lola,” a fine song (and gets a shout out here), and the intolerable “Come Dancing,” and Ray Davies is often acknowledged as one of the great rock songwriters (even getting a Knighthood in 2017). Still, people often forget that the band can kick some serious ass. To wit, “Destroyer.” Check out Gary Chapin’s article on The Riff.
“Uppercut” — Stereophonics
Thanks to Rob Janicke for the nod last week on remembering the other great Welsh rock band (psst — the other band is also on this playlist.) The quality of both bands makes me wonder what other hidden treasures are in Wales. Their lack of success in the US also makes me wonder.
“Three Days” — Jane’s Addiction
The best review I have ever read about Ritual de la Habitual came from Newsweek (I think). I recall the reviewer defining this song as follows: “Jane’s Addiction out Zeppelin’s Zeppelin on ‘Three Days.’” — And you know what? They do.
“Thick N’ Thin” — The Black Crowes
That first Black Crowes album, Shake You Money Maker, helped put sex, drugs, and rock and roll back on the map in 1990. I never quite understood the sound of the cars crashing at the beginning, but this song kicks some serious ass.