Tables Turning by Keith R. Higgons
The student becomes the teacher.
I’m not too fond of online dating.
At the dawn of online dating, I had just moved to New York City. And after a two-year self-imposed dating hiatus, I decided to jump back into the lion’s den of dating. I was working two jobs then, so I figured that this forum might be easier to work into my schedule. The two sites that I knew of at the time were Match.com and eHarmony.
Since Match.com was fee-based, eHarmony won the day.
One Saturday night, I took the time to fill out the eHarmony monolithic questionnaire. I went through each question painstakingly and gave each deep consideration before ticking the box. When it was all said and done, I hit “results.”
The little spinning dial began doing its thing. The screen began to transition and then it appeared: “0 results found.”
It would be another five months before I would date again. This was a woman I met at the office I was working at, not someone I met online. Naturally, it was on brand for me; but that’s a story for another time.
Over the years I have toggled in and out of the apps as they’ve come and gone. I’ve met people who love them, and some who don’t. I’ve gone on some dates. I’ve ghosted and been ghosted; not surprisingly, my relationship with them hasn’t changed.
I’m still not too fond of online dating.
Come to think of it, dating as a whole… but that’s a story for another time.
This is a monologue I wrote about what it might be like if someone had to guide another person through the labyrinth of dating and the world of dating apps.
Tables Turning written by Keith R. Higgons
Director: E.M. Burkhard
Man: Bradley Wells
Recorded Live at The Producers Club in NYC.